How to lose weight and not to become a mummy.

An unlimited number of entangled neurons in our brain, whose main function is supposed to be thinking, produces a great variety of silly things that cause much surprise.

Everyday life shows that people make mistakes furiously and stubbornly, particularly when they are trying to lose weight.

Here is a juicy example of it: I saw a man in a gym recently; he seemed to be educated (a bit bald with glasses); he was running nowhere on a treadmill, his belly was wrapped in plastic and on top of that there was a weight loss belt “The classical volcano.” He had a very disgusting odour, and it was as clear as glass – he was on a strict diet. 

Isn’t it incredibly stupid? 

My sweetheart, who was also exercising that day, came out to the hall to breathe some fresh air and asked me to write something smart about it in order to warn everyone against such lethal mistakes. This way we can save those who haven’t yet become totally delusional after having bought plastic for their tummies and undies-sauna “Malibu” (by the way, hurry up, only today and only for you, you can buy them for only $19.99 online).

My wife is a humanitarian, and, therefore, she hopes to rescue at least some people from these debilitating ads. 

Believe me, I sincerely prefer to avoid being ironic, and I wanted to take this question seriously and answer it, but I just couldn’t help myself…  

Let’s start from the end. Perhaps, you can try to convince me that wrapping your belly in plastic results in burning belly fat. Honestly, I am just an ignorant man, who finished three dissertations (human physiology, adaptive physical training and sports psychology), having spent 6 years of my life working in a hospital and 15 years at university departments of physiology and physical education (trying to understand a human body’s anatomy and function), but I still don’t know the mechanism that would enable belly fat to burn after being in contact with plastic. But you know the secret! Otherwise, why would you buy thermo undies? You are not telling us the sacred information. Come on, don’t be shy, share with us what you know. 

But please, and don’t retell the stories from ads you heard in a spa. Please, I am begging you… 

Here I go again, and again; I couldn’t resist being ironic, how unfortunate… 

One weightlifter told me that when a muscle works, its protein breaks down and muscular growth is stimulated when waste products of muscle protein enter the bloodstream. So, the more such products get there, the bigger the muscle will become. It sounds promising, but there is only one problem: our silly body always tries to eliminate waste products with breath and urine. As powerlifters, we’ve got to stimulate growth, so we’ve got to stop this process. We can certainly hold our breath; it is easy to do this by wearing a gas mask while training. It’s easy to cope with sweat too — just wrap yourself with plastic, and sweat as much as you want, as all this crap (pardon me, ammonia) won’t be eliminated but it will return to the body. It’s harder to do with urine. You can’t hold it in for very long. But there is a solution. British scientists advised to go for a dip in a toilet instead of a shower after the workout to have an unforgettable experience of muscular simulation. 

You didn’t like my joke? Too rude? Well, what do you want? Do you really think that I want to engage with the topic of using nano belts for losing weight, or herbal plastic for fighting with cellulite in a serious way? Read what’s written on the picture below, I can vouch for it.

Ok, let’s consider the topic from another perspective.  

We know that when stimulating fat cells with beta-adrenomimetic, whilst simultaneously inhibiting alpha-2-adrenergic receptors in the cells, lipolysis increases. It’s a known fact that beta-adrenergic agonists directly increase the level of cyclic adenosine monophosphates, which results in lipolysis stimulation. We also know that there is a regional difference in interaction with beta-agonists: fat cells in different areas of the body react differently to the same stimuli. For example, belly fat is more easily lysed than thigh fat (Smith U, Hammersten J, Bjomtorp P, Kral J.G. Regional differences and effect of weight reduction on human fat cell metabolism. Our J Clin Invest 1979; 9: 327-332). It makes sense, because fat cells in thighs have many more alpha-2-receptors. This was proven last century (Lafontan M, Dang L, Berlan M, Alpha adrenergic anti-lipolytic effect of adrenaline in human fat cells of the thigh. Comparison with adrenaline responsiveness of different fat deposits. Our J Clin Invest 1979; 9:261-266). However, overall, it is possible to activate the necessary processes in both the thighs and belly (Motulsky HJ, Insel PA. Adrenergic receptors in man. Direct identification, physiologic regulation and clinical alterations. New Engl J Med 1982; 308:18-29).       

I will reiterate that the mechanism is quite simple: by increasing the level of norepinephrine, we increase lipolysis. If we want to stimulate lipolysis in fat cells of our thighs, the level of norepinephrine in this region must be higher than in the cells of the belly (Smith, Hammersten, Bjomtorp and Kral, 1979). Simultaneously blocking alpha-2-receptors obviously increases lipolysis with the presence of norepinephrine (Lafontan, Dang and Berlan, 1979). I will note that all these facts were well known in the middle of the last century. Adrenergic modulators were known and accessible also. Normally our body doesn’t have alpha-2-inhibitors, but there are pyrocatechols, which are beta-stimulators! Creams with phosphodiesterase inhibitors with alpha-2-inhibitors have been on the market a long time ago. The most effective fat burner is, in fact, phosphodiesterase inhibitors (Vinpocetine, Viagra), then beta-stimulators (“Salbutamol”), and alpha-2-inhibitors (Yohimbine) close the circle (Greenway and Bray, 1987). 

By the way, an interesting fact: only women who used a plastic wrap had side effects from the experiments with selective lipolysis (burning fat on women’s thigh without affecting belly fat) (Greenway and Bray, 1987). We know from the last century that there are creams for selective lipolysis, but using a plastic wrap would prevent burning fat rather than inducing it. Despite this, a mob with fantastical stubbornness wrap themselves with herbal plastic, put on a nano-belt and won’t use phosphodiesterase inhibitors. 

Although side effects from wrapping yourself in plastic are only cosmetic, an overdose of Viagra or Yohimbine can result in unexpected consequences. So, here is a warning — consult your pharmacist first!